Balance

There seems to be a pattern starting to emerge for this year and I would like a do-over please!

We are up and down like yoyos.

The threat of less work, hub gets his vacation pay, the very next day, he trips and falls at work and hurts his shoulder and has the next two days off, doctors visits, forms for WSIB etc. Bad/ Good/Bad

The bank puts a hold on his vacation pay, even though we have been customers there for 17 years and hub has worked for the same company for 16 of those years. Bad

Finally, finally, we have resolved the problem with Wells Fargo Retail Services that THEY created through an unbelievable major fail in billing and account numbers. Was a 3 month nightmare dealing with these people and I hope to god it truly is over. Our credit is slowly getting better the last 4 years and to have them say we didn't sent payments, when we had PROOF we did indeed send it on time, lost in a maze of 3 different accounts numbers was the ultimate in frustration. Not once did they admit to it being THEIR fault. Arrogant idiots. Bad/Good

I needed back tires and have just been lucky there's been no real snow this year when a guy at work offered me 2 tires for 20 each and he put them on for me after work. It's great to know someone mechanical cos I don't know much . It was just lucky that he drives a cavalier and picked up one for 250 for parts and does all his own work on his cars. My car is behaving perfectly well radiator wise since hub put the antifreeze in. Good/Good

My computer, I found out, has no updated antivirus program working. Perfect. When I switched from Rogers to Bell, I just assumed the antivirus came with it like Rogers does. Nope, this week has been a major worry cos I went to go onto my banking site to discover that under my card number and password was an additional block saying "ACCESS CODE" I thought WTF? Then it occurred to me that I had set up an access code for adding a bill recently but I couldn't remember what I used. Since I never remember from one time to the next I just create new each time. Well it turns out it was a good thing I'm a scatter brain sometimes cos it wasn't something new on the banking website, it was a virus and had I remembered the access code I would've opened the door right into my bank account!!! My soninlaw gave me a spy ware program to run and that worked and I was able to be secure, for 2 days and then something masquerading as something for windows and me being the dumb ass that I am downloaded it. And once again I had a virus. This time it blocked almost all websites. I ran the spy ware again and picked up 15 just from that one thing I downloaded. Comp needs a major overhaul. So I called Bell to find out I don't have antivirus through them and arranged for it to be set up and will be in effect on the 10th. Sigh, the last thing I need right now is to have to spend money on a new comp. I'm hoping my soninlaw can reformat it to give me a few more months at least til after we move. Bad/Good/Bad/Good

Good, bad, good, bad, up, down, up, down...I'm getting dizzy!

Cathy

*WARNING* Bitchiness at it's finest!

Well, a year has gone by since the recession hit my company hard. We were on short weeks in Feb and March and on work share from April to the end July. Not only were we hit by very little work, our major supplier of metal went into receivership in the states which threw the company into a tailspin. It took over a month for it all to be transferred to the Canadian part of the operation. Obviously, they must still be in trouble because they closed one of the plants in Ontario and merged with one of their other facilities. Which means even working 6 days a week, they can't handle all the customers of their own as well as the one closed and so...here we go again. We are being forced to take unused vacation time, said time already been paid for LAST July so unless it was kept aside for just this type of thing, we all have to take short weeks and suck up the loss of income. Sigh. Thankfully hubby's company lets them take their vacation pay at any time and he will be able to get a couple weeks worth to tide us over and I just pray next month won't be a round of 4 days a week. They are expecting this to be short lived while our supplier works things out within. We can only hope. I know I should be thankful we both still actually have jobs but Christ , we are supposed to move to save money but we need to save money for the move first and this isn't making it easy.

I had a close call with the car on Friday night. I picked up my daughter from work and after I dropped her off , all of a sudden I saw the temp light go on and saw the temp gauge at red!! Scared the life outta me. I pulled off really quick and called hubby in a panic. He came down and when he went to add antifreeze, he says.. O.M.G is that CLEAR water in there?!?! How the fuck I was able to drive that car without it happening sooner is a mystery...plain water... oh my fucking gawd...unreal. So all is well with my car, he topped up the liquids, gave me shit for not having any in the trunk and got me some . I know..dumb fucking woman move. I KNOW lol jeez Hopefully I do work full weeks in Feb it needs to go for a lube and oil and filter change.

I'm slowly getting used to the empty nest thing. It's quiet and clean. I think it hit me hard cos it happened at the beginning of PMS/perimenopausal (meaning: overly hormonal, feeling old, past it and put out to pasture) /losing my mind/bleeding to death for 8 freaking days! Isn't it supposed to be less time, less often?? Why do I have to be the one that carries on like she can still have children into her 50's? Isn't it enough that I've had this *curse* since I was 10 years old?!?! Isn't 39 years of it enough? Sigh

Well on a good note, hubby just called and his boss will give him the vac pay no problem and what a load off my shoulders that will be!

I'm trying to find the cheerful, some days, its harder than others ..be nice if it was sunny...but right ! even without the sun, its mild and that is cheery in itself cos we haven't really had winter here this year..all around us gets it but we have only had 2 inches once...the salters were out a couple times and that's it really...it's nice to have a mild relatively snow free winter. It is definitely a perk about this area! It isn't over yet though, not for a minute do I believe that! We have seen snow in May and even without snow its been cold enough to need a winter coat some years. Hopefully that won't be the case this year.

Well, guess I'll go enjoy my 3 days off this week. I should be doing cleaning but this morning I feel lazy. It's not light cleaning, this would be *haul everything out that needs to be packed* out of one of the closets and wash floors...think I'll take a pass today!

Enjoy your day!

Cathy

Crazy cat lady who is a big fat liar!!

People piss me off, they truly do.

Last Friday, I was talking to a woman at work who has 3 cats and has had as many as 5 and I was telling her how lonely I felt being pet less and kid less for the first time in 30 years. I said I couldn't afford 126 right now. She jumps in telling me all about a woman she knows who fosters cats for the humane society and for a donation of as little as 50 bucks I could get one. I was thrilled and gave her my phone number and asked her to call me. And I waited and waited and waited. I finally called her on Sat and she said she had to talk to the woman and she'd call me back. She called back and said OK we can do this tomorrow, meaning Sunday. I sat here ALL freaking day, she finally calls me back at 8 Sunday night to say I can have one but it's 126.! Like WTF???? I said ummm what happened to 50 bucks??

OMG I'm so pissed at her for doing that and getting my hopes up for nothing. She is one of those people who can't have a conversation about anything cos she doesn't listen. She just launches into her own stories. Like how she only paid 50 bucks to this woman...now maybe the reason for that is shes a friend of the woman ,maybe she did her a favour or something and that's why she only had to pay 50 bucks.

She shouldn't have said what she did and got my hopes up...and people wonder why I don't trust anyone...this would be one of the reasons right here! So completely and totally sick to fucking death of people playing with my emotions!

Gawd, people are FREAKS!

Cathy

Clean cars are HAPPY cars!

What a beautiful day! Sunny and mild, perfect day to take the car and wash all the salt and crud off it. I woke up feeling way better this morning and thought I need to do something other than sitting here listening to the silence that has enveloped me for the past 2 weeks.

So I checked my funds, saw I had enough to put 10 bucks in and about 9 bucks in change. Not enough to go through the automatic car wash and thought OK, I'll go to the do-it-yourself one. Packed people, PACKED lol Guess everyone had the same idea so while I waited I vacuumed and washed the interior windows and put in my new mats...finally! Thanks hub, they match the interior perfectly! I love shiny clean windows, I hate winter cos of the salt. Last night I went for break touched my lips after opening the door and oh gawd ACK nasty dirty salt on my mouth. The do-it-yourself car wash gets the car sooo much cleaner, it looks all shiny and happy now! lol

That's all the time I have for today. Got a post in the works ...have to wait for another day but I will get it down cos I am fed up with dealing with a certain credit company and have decided to "out" them as a warning to others.

Anyway, have a great day all...little by little I will get back into this.

Cathy

Empty nest? Or new beginning...time will tell

Well here is the new year, haven't posted much lately. Was a good Christmas even with the cutbacks and I was able to find gifts for everyone. Although my limit was 60 per person, I went a bit over that, maybe 75 to 100 for each, but was able to get stuff I knew would go over well and somehow seemed to make all the great sales which really helped alot.

The middle of December brought some news that was disturbing in one way and good in another. My youngest daughter and her fiance were living here while they finished school. The plan was to move in May. Unfortunately we had a huge blow up in Nov and I told them I wanted them to move out. We had a long talk and I relented and said they could stay til May after all. Within 3 weeks of that talk they decided to move anyway on Jan 1. I couldn't seem to get into the Christmas spirit after that. I barely did any decorating as it was the last Christmas with them home and while part of me wanted to go all out for the memories, the other part of me didn't want to do that cos then in my mind it would make it worse to look back.

We helped them move, it broke my heart to see her go. She is my "baby" and I look back and wonder how the hell did the time go so goddamed quickly. They took the cats with them as they were theirs and I so miss them, even tho the kids were rarely home between work and school, I had the cats to talk to and spoil and pamper. Now, now the silence is deafening and I feel like I have no one to "mother". When all you've been for 28 years is someones mommy, its hard to regroup with the empty nest thing. I'm depressed and lonely and I feel somewhat lost, fumbling around in a dark room trying to make sense of the last 28 years and where I go from here. I used to laugh at people who bemoaned the fact the kids were gone...now, now I understand.

I need a cat or 2 to play mommy to but at the moment I can't afford it. I will go to the same shelter the kids went to to get their cats. It costs 126 to adopt a cat and that includes shots and spay or neuter. I'm hoping I can afford to do this soon. For the first time in 30 years, I'm kid less and pet less and the loneliness is crushing.

Don't know how often I will be blogging, I really don't have a lot to say right now except for crying and whining about this so we will see. I've dealt with depression my whole life. Not the incapacitating type but depression nonetheless and I'm hoping it lifts soon. I need to find a hobby I think.

One thing that is helping somewhat is my Susan Boyle CD that I got as a Christmas present. I've watched the story that was aired about her countless times and I don't know what it is but she makes me happy, her story makes me happy, her voice blows me away and lately, even tho I'm bawling over the loss of the kids and the cats and the loss of my 15 year old cat 18 months ago, she lifts me up like no one else can. There is something about her story that moves me to tears, not sad tears but thrilled for her tears. I think we have all at one time or another felt unloved, unworthy and invisible. She epitomizes this perfectly and triumphed over adversity anyway and I believe that gives hope to all of us that have ever felt lonely or lost.

Well, here's to my new life as an empty nester and I hope I can cope and do it as gracefully and humbly as Susan does.

Cathy

Ghosties and fishies

Ya know, I sorta just threw this blog together and didn't really learn much about the technical side, (reading instructions makes my head hurt) So I added a few things and one of those was the Feedjit live traffic feed. And because I never really looked at it til now, didn't realise I could zoom in to street detail to see where my visitors are from.

How cool huh?

Except I'm noticing some rather odd things. First time I looked I saw someone in a town really close to me visited, so I zoomed in and it came up IN Lake Ontario! Okay, so I figured someone on a boat. It was summer time , could be. The other day I looked at the live feed map and saw someone for Los Angeles visited and I thought cool I wonder where so again I zoomed in ....people , I kid you not, it was in a cemetery!?!? I thought WTF? Hmmm, hopefully it's someone that works in the OFFICE of the cemetery and not some DEAD person reading my blog! So, today , once again, I checked out where someone visited from and this time it was IN the St. Lawrence River! Ok obviously there is something I'm not getting here...is that normal? Or do I have ghosts and fish reading this blog??

I have all my decorations for Christmas out of storage and have done nothing yet in the way of decorating, haven't even opened the tree I bought to see how it looks. I have the weekend off babysitting so I should try to make the most of it. One thing I will be doing is going to Acton to visit Macmillan's store to buy cookie dough, they make the best shortbread dough! I had it once about 6 or 7 years ago when a friends daughter's school was selling buckets of dough for fund raising. Simply THE best shortbread I have ever tasted. Finally remembered the name of the place and looked it up and it's only a 30 or 40 min drive from here. Totally worth it to get the "smell" of Christmas through the house and get the decorating started.

Just heard on the news today that we will make it through the month of November without snow for the first time since 1937! Woohoo, I'll take it, it can stay like this all winter!

K, time I get off my butt and start the day.

Cathy

Pre- holiday ramblings

On the news and on various websites, I've been reading about retailers slashing the prices of everything, a'la boxing day prices, to ensure we have no slump this Christmas and continue to stimulate the economy. Of course, there have been stories about things not being what they seem. One in particular, a consumer wrote to say one week she saw a sweater at 39.99, saw there was a sale the next week of buy one, get one half price, going in and discovering that the exact same sweater she saw the previous week, now selling for 79.99...hopefully that kind of thing isn't the norm.

I am glad to see that retailers are doing this. It's been a hell of a year! A year when I saw my savings fly out the window as we were forced into work share and only working 3 and 4 days a week. First time I've had savings to begin with in years. Wiped out in a 4 month span. Yes we got money through E.I. but it's only 55 percent and although they said no waiting time, in reality they are perpetually 4 to 6 weeks behind. It means a lot of dipping into savings. Things are better now, back to work full time since July. Started to get back on my feet financially and went down with bacterial pneumonia in Sept. Finances took another dive in a scramble to try and makes ends meet on 3/4 of my pay for the month. Have recovered from that and now my daughter and her fiance have started buying all their own food and oh, the relief!! Saves me 300 bucks a month! Imagine my glee as I dance down the aisles at the grocery store, knowing the groceries are gonna cost me between 50 and 70 a week!!

So, with all that's happened, I have had to rethink the whole Christmas gift giving. In previous years, I've spent up to $1000. As much as I love giving my kids and they're significant others loads of gifts, the reality is that it isn't possible this year. Been doing a lot of looking around when I'm out. The deals just seem to be falling into my lap! For my son-in-law, I found a limited edition Aerosmith Guitar Hero with 2 guitars, the game and all kinds of extras...for $29.99 !?!? That was at Giant Tiger, that game goes for $70 to $80 anywhere else I've seen it! I've found a slow cooker for my daughter for $20 marked down from $60 and the piece de resistance, yesterday at Canadian Tire, I got hubby a socket tool and driver set by Job Mate that regularly sells for $179 on sale for $59! OMG I couldn't believe it! Boxing day prices? I'll say they are! With a self-imposed limit of 50 to 60 per person I wasn't sure it could be done but apparently it can be.

It could be depressing and sad but I can't think like that because Christmas, like in the Grinch, doesn't come because of the gifts. It's nice to be able to splurge but its more fun this way. It's a challenge to find more than one gift each for them on only $60 each. It's a lot of pressure removed and so far so good. I've been able to keep to my limit. The most important part is that we are all together, family is everything. We will have a nice dinner, thankful we are all here and remember the ones not here with us anymore.

That said, I decided to take it a step further and scale down my decorations. We have a 6 foot tree that has seen better days and I got it into my head to get a new one but not another big one. No, this year I want small. Walmart had a 4 ft , prelit with 150 lights for $38 dollars this week so I bought one. Some of my friends are horrified, (hi Char!), at such a small tree and I can't really explain it but like my mom before me, it's just time. It's been years since I did the actual decorating of the tree. I usually leave it to the kids to do the tree, since the future son-in-law's been helping and doing the lights I haven't had to and altho I LOVE hundreds of lights, I'm 5 feet tall and can't reach and its such a chore. They won't be living with us next year at Christmas, hubby isn't into doing it perfect, (which of course it's impossible for anyone but me to achieve said perfection and ends up in a fight hehe) So, a small tree I can handle on my own is what I want. I will put it on the cedar chest to give it a little more height. I will still decorate the place, maybe not as much as I'm not hosting dinner this year, oldest daughters turn.

Spent Sunday cleaning the balcony and taking all the summer stuff down off the walls and packing them away, put up the balcony lights. It looked so festive last nite when it was dark! I'm loving this mild weather! No frozen fingers, cursing the whole damn season while struggling with the lights! After such a craptacular summer, having mild weather still as we near the end of November is a nice treat. The last few years we have had a lot of snow, anytime we get a break from snow in Oct is a good thing. Our winters are too long as it is, Oct to April sometimes into May before we can lose the winter stuff.

I love the changing seasons and cos it's where I've lived all my life, I expect snow at Christmas and I wonder how others do it that don't have changing seasons. They must hit the beach and that would feel so odd to me to know it's Christmas at 80 degrees in the sunshine and be lazing in a bathing suit! Of course in my perfect world it would snow on Christmas eve and be gone by boxing day! I don't like snow that much! In this part of southern Ontario we don't get the Norman Rockwell Christmas til we have a blizzard in Feb..that's when it looks like it should be Christmas...but just as well if you ask me cos that much snow causes chaos if its all winter long.

Well a happy Thanksgiving to those that are celebrating this week and to everyone a reminder...31 days til Christmas Eve!

Have a great day !

Cathy