Aging gratefully

So, I'm 48 today. 48?! Can I really be a mere 2 years from 50?? How can this be when I don't feel that I've really grown up yet!

Maybe I still associate being 50 as being old. It's really not as far as it feels to me cos I don't feel old. And yet 50?!? It doesn't feel like I've lived close to 50 years. Whats up with that? Why does it take til we hit the mid century mark to realise how fleeting life is and that we should make the most of it?

This very easily could've become a poor me post , I'm old, I hate my life boohoo, blah, blah, fucking blah, but a tragedy has put it in a whole new perspective.

A very dear friend of mine lost her 18 year old son in a horrific accident involving a train yesterday. 18...it's all I keep repeating to myself...18 ..his life just beginning, how fast a split second chance occurrence took the life of this young man. My heart breaks for my friend and his twin sister and his youngest sister.

His life snuffed out before he had a chance to live it.

And I have the audacity to whine? If my life were to end this moment, at the very least, I could say I lived it. I have much more to be thankful for than I ever realised.

Time to put on the big girl panties and appreciate what I have, what I've accomplished, and cherish the time a little more carefully and when the kids come for lunch to help celebrate my birthday, I'll be hugging them a little tighter and letting go of the down side of aging and live it the way it's supposed to be lived!

Happy Birthday to me and hopefully many many more!

Cathy